Long time ago I’ve noticed something unpleasant ,I start to ask myself why is that some people make you feel they are just some kind of imposters, although on the surface they treat you well, they say beautiful words that you’d like to hear,as if they do all kind of things just because they think they are the right things to do. Almost perfectly done. They bite the bullets, as if they are the epitome of a good boyfriend, a husband. Now you start to doubt their motivations maybe they are actually ultimately serving themselves. That’s perhaps they may have mistakenly confused their means with ends.
I’m not going to expand on the subject of what love it is, I use love as an example is because it’s an universal suffering we all have experienced once for a while. Rather my key messagess here is that , this kind of means and ends confusion existing everywhere. Like we do the job we hate because we need the money to buy the bread not because we want to do it. Maybe it is fine to show the grit sometimes to help you grow but this kind of suffering is not sustainable and healthy, it can create problems for society as a whole. No doubt that doing things you hate it is a torturing, no one should be doing unless there is no choice. But we shouldn’t compromise just because doing what we really like is difficult. Doing the things you don’t really enjoy, only will make you neurotic,also create all kinds of mental illnesses down the line. Mental illness is hard to detect and easy to get ignored, because many of us just don’t recognise the signs or symptoms even the person himself who is suffering doesn’t know. Let alone to get the crucial helps that he may actually needed the most.
As a tradeoff, it may work very well in one single time, but it’s definitely not sustainable and ideal. That’s because unconsciously or consciously you still want your true needs to be satisfied-that desire is our human nature. Some of our needs they get buried as we grow up. We all human beings have shared needs and the needs that base on one’s individual’s value system so you won’t be happy as long as you live your life authentically.
Meandering leads to perfection 