When people accuse you for being selfish the behaviour itself it is selfish. Because if you don’t think of yourself, or calculate everything first, you wouldn’t accuse anyone for being selfish, either should you care about, except if you’re on your duty for the work. But the truth is, as simply as – thier interests are against yours, and you can’t tolerate.
The word selfish, it is negative, strong, mean and can be hurtful. Should never be used on anyone. And the truth is everybody is selfish, if you studied economy you know they use the term self-interest instead, so we are guided by this power- being selfish or self interested it is a way to live or survive, as a human nature. Like when you hungry you go hunting…or grow plants to eat,if you’re not selfish or self interested, you shouldn’t kill any animals or use nature resources to grow your own food because your own fears of future. In reality, many people forget selfish and self-interested are just the same thing, one is a negative expression,another just a technical term. Ultimately they are the same things. It’s also about your level of tolerance. Some people can’t tolerate much, may feel offended easily while others think it’s just a norm. Why it happens? Boiling down, it’s all linked to ones personal value, and you can never expect everybody’s value are the same all the time. So conflicts will always occur, always exist, just a matter of how you would approach and confront. You want to solve the issue rather to demean anyone on the personal level. As should you recognise that it would never be any helpful.
No matter what kind of “selfish” behaviour you see or encounter, never judge, or accuse, rather point out respectively, and be polite because how you convey things or articulate tells a lot about you, always be careful with words, words are something people can hardly forget, they represent who you are. When you lose your control you also sink to a lower level, but life is cruel, there is no excuses for simply not being your normal self, people won’t forget, especially people pay a lot of attentions to the bad experiences or hurtful ones . You don’t want to ruin your reputation. By judging people it not only hurts yourself also hurt other people as well, especially those who have different lifestyles and backgrounds, most time the selfish behaviours you accuse are not intentional. So every time, you should separate the behaviours/issues themselves with the person himself, in order to solve the problem effectively, not attack by using the wrong words. Once you are ready to confront, try not to change someone’s behaviour first, as everyone’s background and lifestyle is different, there’s no way what you say they would just follow automatically, rather you want to pay attention to the large picture of the situation and start from there to find a way out, especially by working on considering other people’s interests not just yours, this will help you to react in a more mature and thoughtful way.
Meandering leads to perfection 